What It Takes
by Shadow's Tears
Summary: What will you do when the one you love is falling apart right in front of you? What can you possibly do to make things better? AoiXKahoko
1. Prologue

_**I'm back! Sorry for disappearing without a trace, I had been shifting my stuff into my dorm, so was really busy with that, and to top it all, THERE'S NO INTERNET IN THE ROOM! *sobs***_

_**And a lot of you must be thinking 'why on earth is this girl publishing another story when she still has so many to complete?' ANS: I had an attack of the plot bunnies. So I hope you all like this story. It's my first featuring the KahoXKaji pairing.**_

_**Oh, and I'm not sure how frequently I'll be able to update my fics so pl don't think I've vanished off the face of the earth, I will keep on making appearances.**_

_**Enjoy!**_

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The fact was, I had seen it coming. I'm not trying to sound mean, but that's the truth. It was all there; the decreasing number of visits, the disappointment, the loss of passion in her music. It was so obvious that these symptoms could result in only one ending. But of course, she was always an optimist, a quality that I had always adored. However, it was this that was going to bring the greatest disappointment in her life. Arms crossed, I leaned against the wall while her voice floated through the air.

"B…but Len, you can't be serious. I mean, you're only going abroad, we can still-"

"It won't work out Kahoko. No matter how much we try to make it work, it won't bring us any satisfaction. Besides, I might choose to settle down in England. What will you do then? You can't possibly spend your whole life waiting for me."

"I can! You don't understand Len! You never will! I always try to look for solutions and you are nothing but a pessimist! How can you give up what we have so easily?" Her voice was choked, and I knew she was on the verge of losing control.

"Believe me Kahoko, it's not easy for me at all. But how can you convince yourself that everything will be the same even after a year? Or possibly five? Or ten?"

"You're making it sound impossible!" Her voice had taken on a high pitch. "You still don't get it! The only thing you can figure out is how to switch between octaves on your violin! That's the reason why you're going isn't it? To indulge yourself in your music? Would you allow your violin to replace the past few months?"

"It's not like that Kaho-"

"Forget it Len. I don't want to argue. Now please tell me what your final choice is."

A long silence passed between them and I swore I could have heard each of her heartbeats thudding as slowly as the seconds hand on a clock.

"I think we should break up Kahoko," Tsukimori said softly.

"What?" Kahoko's voice had taken on a whisper that had the effect of one letting out their last breath. I closed my eyes at the sound. My poor girl. True, I loved her, but she didn't deserve to have that said to her. I knew how she felt; her heart had been all but ripped out and shred to bits.

"That's my final word Hino."

I raised my head at Tsukimori's sentence. Hino. No more intimacy between them. He really was serious.

"You can't be," countered Kahoko after a beat. "No, I don't believe it."

"I'm sorry Hino," was all Tsukimori offered her.

"I'm sorry too _Tsukimori_," bit out the red-haired girl in anguish. "I'm sorry for ever believing that I held a position greater than your music. Clearly, that wasn't the case at all. Here I am trying to make it work, and you want to break it off!"

"That's not what I-"

"Don't try to defend yourself now! It's over. Go and spend the rest of your life in England. Marry your violin for all I care! I hate you Tsukimori!"

Her first sob burst into the silent afternoon. I literally felt my heart bleeding inside at the sound. I knew she couldn't hate him; she loved him so much that she wanted to cling on to him and cry until the last of Heaven's jewels stopped glittering. The sound of rapid footsteps brought me back and I cautiously peeped around the edge of the wall. Kahoko was running away from Tsukimori towards the gate as fast as she could, her red tresses flying behind her.

Tsukimori hadn't moved at all and remained, still as concrete, watching her retreat. His hands fisted before he suddenly lowered his face.

"I'm sorry Kahoko," he whispered in a voice that was just loud enough for me to hear.

"I'll always love you." With that, he slowly started to move towards the gate.

I walked away in the opposite direction. Typical Tsukimori. Short, and to the point. But that didn't mean it had made things any easier for them. I sighed and rubbed my temples. If I were him, I could have never brought myself to let her go. From another's point of view, that might seem selfish. But Tsukimori had done what he felt was best and to be perfectly honest, I had to admire him for it. It wouldn't have been easy to give up the girl you love and then force her to accept it when she remained blind to the situation and you had already worked out the pros and cons.

But still, a guy can't stop wishing, can he?


	2. Chapter 1

_**Chapter two, written during a very dry boredom spell when I was in the hostel. Enjoy!**_

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Three days after the break-up. The news had traveled around school like wildfire. The break-up between the Violin Prodigy and the General Ed. Musician. Though there had been a weekend gap since the incident, it was still circulating like virulent spores.

"Hey did you hear…?"

"I know, Tsukimori dumped her!"

"Probably decided it was an embarrassment for someone like her to be tied to his name."

_Vultures._

That was the perfect description of the student body now. What right did people have to comment about others when they weren't involved in it? Kahoko had done them no personal harm to be picked on like this. I felt a stone weighing me down as I walked to class. Saturday and Sunday had been the time barrier since I last saw her, and I wasn't exactly sure if I wanted to know how she was faring. Her nature was gentle and most likely she would look like a parrot with clipped wings. Pausing outside homeroom, I straightened my tie and walked in.

As expected, Kobayashi san and Nao chan were sitting around Kahoko's desk. They turned around at my approach.

"Ohaya Kaji kun," greeted Kobayashi san when she saw me.

"Ohaya," I greeted back before taking an inevitable look at Kahoko. I almost dropped to my knees. Despair, loneliness and teary hazel eyes attacked me all at once. The impulse to cradle her and whisper comfort was overwhelming. I settled for laying a hand over hers.

"Ohaya Kaji kun," she said with a weak smile. I felt like gathering her close and whispering 'Don't pretend darling. You can cry in front of me. You don't have to be strong all the time.' Curbing the instinct to pull her against me I quietly asked, "What's the matter Hino san?"

I knew what she would say, but letting her know I knew meant that she would realize I had followed her to the gate on Friday after she had informed me that Tsukimori had wanted to talk to her. She sighed, a sound ripe with hurt and spoke. "Le- Tsukimori kun and I broke up last Friday. You know about his departure to England, don't you Kaji kun?"

"Yes, I do."

"He said long distance relationships are taxing, and we wouldn't make it."

"That is his opinion, not yours ne?"

"He wouldn't listen to me."

I heard some bitterness under her words; the sharp sting of being forced into a situation which could have been easily prevented if the other party had simply listened.

"I'm sorry Hino san," was all I managed to offer.

"You couldn't have done anything Kaji kun. But thank you. I'm grateful to have a friend like you, who's always looking out for my well-being."

_I'm grateful to have a FRIEND like you._

That was the truth, so I let it go. No matter what her feelings were at the moment, I had to be content with the role of confidante. It was too early to let her know I wanted her, and I didn't want to add on to her emotional burden.

"Everything always works out for the best Hino san," I said reassuringly. Those hazel eyes were still teary, making me understand that it was going to take a while before she could actually believe those words.

The bell rang and I took my seat.

• ○ •

Had Len really believed that this would be easy? I should have hated him for his one-minded decision. But it was so difficult! I've been crying from three days, and it hadn't relieved me of anything, it had just created a horrible throb in my head that was pulsating angrily. No words could make me feel better no gesture could make me smile.

"Hino!"

I stopped as a soccer ball rolled towards my feet through the grass. Tsuchiura kun was running behind it. As he neared me, I turned in his direction but didn't really feel like saying much.

"How you holding up?"

"I…I really don't know."

Tsuchiura kun has understanding eyes; they can read me in a flash, kind of the way Yunoki senpai could, but without that taunting air. Now they were focused on me even though his teammates were waiting for him to return with the ball.

"You deserve better Hino," he said softly which instead of comforting me made me lose some of my composure. My eyes filled again with salty water I thought had long since been dispensed. Seeing this, Tsuchiura kun closed his eyes regretfully, as though wishing he hadn't said anything.

"I'm sorry. But you can't let yourself fall to pieces because of him Hino. He's leaving in another week. What are you going to do after that? You've got your whole life ahead of you."

In some chamber of my numb brain I knew he had a point. The matter was over with. No one can change the past; you can just learn from it and try to make a better future. Len was gone and nothing in the world could make him change his mind. When he had discarded me as easily as yesterday's newspaper, why should I sit around feeling sorry for myself?

"Thank you Tsuchiura kun. I'll be all right. It'll just take some time, that's all."

"Hope you do Hino. Hope you do."

"Oye, Tsuchiura kun," called out Junosuke san from behind him, "are you gonna continue the game or not?"

"I have to go Hino. Take care ok?"

"I will. See ya."

With that he kicked the ball expertly back into the direction of the field. Not feeling ready to go home just yet, I walked away from the field towards the other side of the campus. I had to get it together.


	3. Chapter 2

**UPDATE! Hmm, I was quite surprised really, I thought more people would vote for Destined Fate. But it's nice to know Kaji is getting his fair share of attention too! ^_^**

**Hope this is up to everyone's expectations. **

**Enjoy!**

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Very slowly I placed the bow of the violin across the strings. It was a pathetic attempt at trying to form the melody _Salut d'Amor._ It was the piece Len had been teaching me before the abrupt departure. Len. My inspiration was gone. Was that possible? The violin squeaked and I winced at the sound. Carefully, I increased the pressure on the G-string and tried again. A tear slipped out from under my closed eyelids.

I felt pathetic. Truly pathetic for depending on him too much. I had never once attempted to rely on myself and this was the price for it. True, the whole relationship had been rocky; our meeting times always revolved around his violin sessions, and I could have considered myself dead had I dared to even suggest he skip once. When was the last time he had suggested we go out casually? The break up signs had all been there. A relationship based on what? Only my flexibility had been keeping things together. I had kept going, hoping at one point he would understand I loved him, that I was doing this for us.

My reward was him plainly stating we can't carry on anymore and leaving me; leaving to focus on a career for which I had sacrificed my happiness for. I had stopped playing without realizing. My fingers were trembling too much to keep a steady tone. Len had first introduced me to the beauty of the violin, when I heard him playing Ave Maria that time from the practice room window. I withdrew the violin from under my chin. Gazing sadly at it I wondered if should give it up. It was a tie to him after all. It reminded me of him; something I didn't want to burdened with anymore.

I covered my mouth with a hand, forcing down the urge to sob. Knowing I couldn't practice now even if I wanted to, I slowly packed up the violin and turned to leave the roof.

• ○ •

Would she really quit the violin? I couldn't even imagine it. I wondered if she had realized what she had confessed out loud, believing she had the privacy of the roof all to herself. The girl I loved played her music so naturally it appeared she had been born with the innate ability. She couldn't possibly be serious? I was so lost in thought that I didn't even notice the abrupt silence in the music. Suddenly the door to the roof which I was leaning against was nudged forward. Recovering from the push I scrambled to my feet.

"Kaji kun."

I swallowed and wondered how to explain myself. Truthfully I had followed her to the roof; unknown to her I had been following her everyday wherever she went in case she suddenly broke down and needed someone. I tried my best not to look guilty.

"Finished lunch, Hino chan?" I questioned.

"No…I wasn't hungry…" her voice trailed. There were dark shadows under her eyes and I wondered if she had been getting any sleep at all.

"Why are you here Kaji kun?"

"Me? Ah, I just needed some air. Your playing was different though Hino chan," I added trying to ease some of my guilt.

"Oh. You heard it did you?" Ruefully, she brought her palm up to her forehead. "I know it's pretty weak. It doesn't even sound like I'm trying does it?"

"You haven't been practicing I bet," I countered trying to encourage her.

Hazel eyes fixed on mine and she said quietly, "True I haven't been practicing. I don't think I want to anymore either."

"Hold on. If you give up practicing you'll never improve."

She sighed, long and deep. "That's kind of the point Kaji Kun. I don't think I want to improve anymore. I'm thinking about being content with where I am now."

"Don't say that," Panic bordered my voice now. Was she giving up because of Len? Damn the guy. I would never let that happen. No matter how deeply involved he was with Hino's music that didn't mean his absence was a signal for her to let it go.

"I'm giving it up. I can't do it anymore." Tears slid down those pretty cheeks and I found myself paralyzed with emotion. She was so close. I could easily sweep her away into my embrace; draw her close, quieten her fears. But I stayed where I was. I don't know what part of me acted at that moment but instinct was telling me to give her some space and let her cool down rather than openly attack her.

"Is it because of him?" Tsukimori?" I asked trying to quench out the burning flame of hate I felt for the guy.

"That's not the point. I don't think I was ever meant to play violin from the start."

She ran the back of her hand over her cheeks trying to brush away the freely flowing crystal drops. Her nose reddened and I knew she was going to head back to class tired and with a migraine.

"But Hino chan-"

"Just forget it Kaji kun. I really don't know what to think right now. Leave me alone." She quickly brushed past me but before she could reach the steps I grasped her wrist.

"You'll need these," I said softly and placed a few individually wrapped tablets in her palm. Blankly, she glanced at them and then at me.

"I may not be able to help you much. But I hope those will be of more use to you than I was." I released her hand and descended the steps.

• ○ •

Frowning, I took my seat in class. It was wrong of me to let loose my insecurities on Kaji kun. It wasn't his fault, and he didn't have to do anything with the break up. He was such a loyal friend; had I just pushed him away? Was he angry? Would he avoid me? Kami Sama, please no. I had lost one important person already.

I screwed up my eyes as the first shot of pain hit my brain. A migraine? Why of all the times now? Then I remembered the small packets Kaji kun had placed in my hand; I was still holding them. I unraveled my fingers and looked at them; migraine tablets.

_I hope these will be of more use to you than I was._

"Kaji kun…" I managed a small smile before reaching for my water bottle and downing the pills.

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**Has anyone suffered with a migraine before? I'm a common victim to it. The pain is just too horrible and you can never guess just when it'll get you; you need to keep pills ready at hand in case it suddenly grabs hold of you. The throbbing can last anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours; the only thing you feel like doing is curling up into a ball and sleeping. Sometimes you get feelings of nausea as well…all in all not a pleasant thing to be burdened with.**

**Unexpected has also been updated, by the way, to those who haven't observed.**

**Reviews would be good; they're highly encouraging.**


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